|
Post by Mo on Nov 30, 2015 17:15:24 GMT -5
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jun 29, 2016 0:42:38 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 1, 2016 15:44:34 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Jul 1, 2016 16:55:47 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 3, 2016 16:20:18 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Jul 4, 2016 14:02:34 GMT -5
LOL LOL toetapping, I'll remind Ray I have just gone up in price oops that didn't sound quite right did it lol
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 4, 2016 17:02:08 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Jul 5, 2016 3:13:18 GMT -5
Where did you find this i thought I had destroyed that photo years ago LOL a good one toetapping, keep em coming we need more chuckles. A chuckle a day helps keep the Doc at bay
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 8, 2016 18:23:15 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Jul 11, 2016 17:27:03 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 14, 2016 15:57:08 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by lins on Jul 14, 2016 18:52:48 GMT -5
Gotta put something on to keep them in place when actually moving around. lol
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 16, 2016 15:44:44 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 18, 2016 15:13:02 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 19, 2016 15:29:38 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 27, 2016 15:43:40 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Jul 28, 2016 8:17:15 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Jul 29, 2016 15:47:07 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Jul 31, 2016 6:11:58 GMT -5
toetapping, I love the jokes your posting there rib ticklers for sure lol
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Aug 17, 2016 17:25:31 GMT -5
The missus says I'm a typical tight-fisted Scotsman So to prove her wrong I took her out for tea and biscuits. It was quite exciting as she had never given blood before.
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Aug 23, 2016 15:45:01 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Aug 23, 2016 16:18:53 GMT -5
That,s why I never eat breakfast LOL
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2016 23:43:31 GMT -5
You could always have a Mimosa for breakfast... ;)
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Aug 24, 2016 16:55:11 GMT -5
You could always have a Mimosa for breakfast... ;) Mimosa ? please tell remember i'm a Brit linda LOL
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2016 20:25:05 GMT -5
A mimosa is orange juice and champagne
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Aug 27, 2016 17:35:57 GMT -5
We call them Buck fizz over here @lindabirds, now there is a breakfast i could get used to lol
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Aug 27, 2016 17:36:12 GMT -5
All Balls!!
Well Mr brown say's the doctor, I have just discovered you have one testicle made of wood and one testicle made of steel.
But that's impossible say's Mr Brown, I have never had any operations and apart from that I have two perfectly healthy children.
How old are the children ? Well Pinocchio is 6 and terminator is 7
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Aug 28, 2016 15:29:28 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mo on Aug 28, 2016 17:21:58 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by toetapping on Sept 2, 2016 15:48:11 GMT -5
|
|